


Day 1- Happy Birthday!

by angededesespoir



Series: Koujaku Week [2]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Food mention, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Koujaku Week, M/M, alcohol mention, i still don't really understand formatting on here so hopefully it looks okay, implied/referenced trauma, tae-san and aoba are also briefly mentioned in here, this is bittersweet b/c i don't know how to write happy things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku wakes up to a dream of the past and a birthday surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 1- Happy Birthday!

**Author's Note:**

> _Also Posted[Here](http://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/149598533840/day-1-happy-birthday)._  
>   
> 
> _I nearly cried several times while writing this._

    When he wakes up, there are tears in his eyes.

  


    The remnants of a dream -more like a memory- cling to him.   He can still feel his mother’s hands through his hair, her warm lips pressed gently to his forehead, her voice pushing through the haze of sleep.  On the table is a meager homemade meal- not much, but he would kill for even a bite of it now.  
    Her sweet voice fills the room in song.  She places the box in his hands. Inside are the tools of her trade- brand new; now his.  His hands shake as he caresses the scissors, runs his hand along the other items.  

  


    It is his first official day on the job and he hugs her with all the strength he can muster.  There are a stream of  ‘ _arigatous_ ’ and his mother’s soft laughter carries as she holds him close.

  


    It was the best gift he had ever received- because it came from her. 

  


____

  


    Vaguely, he feels the lips pressing against his cheek.  He turns his head to look at the source.

  


    Mizuki is bathed in the light of sunbeams, gently laughing.  
_“I thought you’d never wake up.  Had another rough night, huh?”_    

  


     Koujaku smiles weakly and adverts his eyes.   _“You know me too well.”_

  


    Nightmares and flashbacks kept him awake most nights.  He had downed more bottles in the past few weeks than he had in the span of years.  By day he flashed his smiles and wooed his adoring fans, but by night he barely kept it together.  

  


    Only Mizuki knew.  And even then, he didn’t know the full extent of his problems.  He was still opening up to the man, still learning to allow himself such vulnerability.  

  


    The first thing that Mizuki had learned was his feelings for Aoba- feelings carefully hidden away, and in an instant, in a complete accident, revealed to his friend. 

  


    If anyone could understand his plight, it would be Mizuki. A man who had also been forcefully tattooed and made to hurt others against his will.  A man who feared to get too close again, feared he would hurt or be hurt, feared he would not be forgiven- or worse, that he was not worthy of being forgiven.  That his own weakness brought him to this point- destruction mixed with a creation not yet completely in harmony.    A friend who had pined for him for years, watched him flirt with many others, always thought him unattainable, but still possessed a sliver of hope.  (It was the hope, the hope, that made it so cruel and unbearable.) 

  


    He had spent so many nights clinging to the other man, wanting the ache in his heart to go away, practically begging him to fulfill the impossible.  
    Mizuki would hold him and whisper comforting words into his ear after each call, each picture Aoba sent.

  


    Koujaku felt the guilt eating at him.  He should be happy for his friend.  And he shouldn’t be putting his other friend through all of this.  He was still learning to live with loss and though he cared deeply for the man, perhaps even loved him, he feared that his heart was too wounded, too filled with love for another, to give Mizuki the love he deserved.    
    In those instances when Mizuki was haunted by his own past, Koujaku hated the way he hesitantly wrapped trembling arms around him, unable to speak any comfort. 

  


    _“Indeed I do.”_  A hand gently strokes his cheek, breaking him from his thoughts.   _“I’m here for you, you know?  You mean the world to me.  If you ever need me, I’ll be here for you.  And.....,”_  
Mizuki beams, turning away briefly and then twisting towards him again with a tray in hand,  _“I’ll come bearing food.”_

  


      He winks and shoves the tray toward Koujaku.   _“Come on!  Eat up before it gets cold!  I even brought over some of Tae-san’s doughnuts, made especially for you.  She sends her best wishes.”_  There’s a flicker in his smile, so fast that he almost doesn’t catch it.   _“She says she almost misses you eating her out of house and home.  Maybe.....you could stop by some time?  Perhaps we can visit her later?  Thank her for the doughnuts.  They are really good.”_

  


    He suddenly looks flustered and rubs at the back of his neck.   _“I, uh, maybe kinda ate one of them.  Or two.  .....or a few.”_  He laughs nervously.   _“Sorry?”_

  


    In the act of confession, he does not notice the way Koujaku frowns at his suggestion.  He only notices the slight smile as the man whispers,  _“It’s fine,”_ and begins eating a little of the rice.

  


_“Don’t you have work today?  I don’t want to keep you.”  
_

    Mizuki grins.   _“Actually, I took the day off.  Today’s a celebration after all!  We’re going to do whatever you want.  We can go shopping, you can check in on your adoring fans, maybe drink a little with your team, perhaps practice some of our battle skills?  Whatever makes you happy, we’ll do.”_

  


    Koujaku smiles.  Really, he doesn’t deserve him, doesn’t deserve this kindness after all he’s done, after how pitiful he’s been and will be.

  


    _“Is it.....,”_  He begins, and hesitates for a moment.   _“Is it okay if we just stay in today?  I.....I need to.....talk.”_  


    Mizuki moves next to him, curls his hand over his own.   _“Of course.  Whatever you want.  I’m here for you.”_  He smiles.

  


_This is one of the most important gifts he has ever received._

  


Koujaku kisses him in thanks and softly smiles.


End file.
